Ever wonder how some people accomplish so much? They run marathons, write novels, start companies… without making it seem like a big deal?
Well, it is a big deal. And in spite of how effortless these accomplishments may appear, people work harder than you likely realize to make these things happen. There is, however, one thing they know—at least in practice—that you don’t.
Most of us want to finish the race, but see running as a chore. A few dream about being great authors, but find the writing itself to be slow and difficult. Some of us learn all we can about starting a company, only to hit a wall when it comes time to get down to work.
Self-help books and workshops arm us with ways to trick ourselves into doing things we perhaps should, but generally don’t want, to do. I ask whether this lack of will might actually be the universe trying to tell us something?
Maybe you aren’t supposed to bother with the tedious stuff. Perhaps the reason you haven’t done it yet, is that you weren’t meant to. Might achievement, as a goal unto itself, be pointless? Could this need to have done something notable, simply be greed in a more socially-acceptable form?
More than all of the rest, though: What if the missing part of the puzzle is not a lack of willpower, but instead a lack of love?
The runner discovers tranquility on the road, forgetting the pain. The writer gives in to the joy of playing with words, moving past the aggravation. The entrepreneur finds purpose in making something, and stops noticing the long days.
You can spend your life fretting about how healthy, interesting, or successful you are. In fact, a whole industry depends upon this, and is eager to help you make plans to change.
On the other hand, you might consider simply finding what you love, and letting the rest take care of itself.
if money prevents you from doing it, maybe you don't love it much to begin with
Wow... we are really devolving as a society don't we.
P.S. Your grammar and punctuation suck.
Yes, productivity aimed in a wrong direction isn't good, what's your point? It has nothing to do with what I was saying. Yes, you need to pick a right direction and be productive at the same time - walk and chew gum, if you will, or you can just give up, pick mediocrity, sit in front of the TV and eat junk food, cause life is hard... and what's the point... plus Jersey Shore's on.
Opposite of productivity is laziness and that's what this article preaches.
"Maybe you aren’t supposed to bother with the tedious stuff" - basically means that some of us are too lazy to do anything and will just waste their lives away, because we don't want to do things that are difficult. That's ok, less competition for the rest of us who actually want to make something out of our lives, contribute something to the society, you know "do the tedious stuff"
Just think about what would our lives be if Shakespeare, Mozart, Washington, Bill Gates or any other great contributor to our society had your attitude about doing something that's hard and tedious.
PS
Yes, English isn't my native language, it's my third, but a great example of debating rule #1:
When you can't argue a point resort to ad hominem attacks, nicely done :)
You mean after a few years of failing I will be ready to give up and join the ranks of the depressed, middle aged guys that decided to quit on life and now are trying to justify their lazy choices and failures.
Is that what happened to you? Is that why now you feel the need to write an article praising mediocrity?
It's interesting that you never responded to my question about where in this theory of yours do people like Einstein and Mozart fit in, peopled who decided that maybe it's worth "bothering with tedious stuff" as you so eloquently put it.
You know, we all have the right to live as we wish, but I am so happy that there are a lot more people that believe that the struggle and tediousness is all worth it in the end, because otherwise we would still be a bunch of cavemen sitting around the fire pondering if making the wheel is all that it's cracked up to be and should we even bother.
I am thankful that people like Einstein and Mozart and Shakespeare didn't quit during the tedious times, but kept on going, so people like you could benefit from their accomplishments many years after.
I think you're making a mistake if you think that great practitioners and artists don't run into periods of "this is so hard, why the hell am I doing this?" in the prosecution of their great works. Like love of a person, love of an activity, art or craft is fraught with difficulties and roadblocks. I agree that the desire to "have done" something deserves examination -- it shouldn't be the *only* reason you're doing something -- but it is probably the only way to get past the rough spots.
And since (as Daniel Kahneman pointed out) we spend much more time remembering an event than living it, I think "having done" things is a much better investment towards your future happiness than taking the path of least resistance.
Best thing I've pulled off HN in a while.
And sorry for disappointing you, Matt.
Ok let me get specifically to Einstein. For someone who barely passed in Calculus, dreming of becoming Einstein is a big joke. Can you become an Einstein just by wanting to. Really? Can somene become a genius just by trying,or are there factors which are beyond your control? Intelligence is not something you can build, It is inborn. If you say otherwise do this: take a mentally instable person from an assylum and convert him into the next Nobel prize winer. Try Try Try!!!! Lets see if you can stick to your word and not quit. SO is a talent for muzic. Look at the millions of hopeful singers who throng reality shows in the hope of becoming "The voice". Each one of them has the grit and determination. Every one of them tries hard. So what happens. Does everyone become "the voice". No my dear only one can.
I would say that a need to achieve something "great" is a result of social pressure (and low self-esteem?). When you're young and naive, it's hard to see that it's more important how you spend your days than to be able to list "great" things you've achieved.
You're right about love. When you love something there's no lack of willpower.
@ Zack
Einstein didn't set out to achieve great things. He just wanted to know. Achievement is an abstract concept we slapped on what is basically a side effect of his quest for knowledge. Einstein didn't pursue achievement.
WTF are you blathering about? I don't really enjoy running (or hard work), but I enjoy the rewards from achieving goals - just like the self help books advise. This has allowed me to finish in the top 10% of many marathons, and be a successful entrepreneur, and drive a Porsche.
The part I enjoy about running? When the endorphins kick in (at about 35 minutes) and it starts to feel zen-like. The part I enjoy about running a company? When our partners and staff are engrossed by a new challenge, and find ourselves exploring new territory. As for the car... I drive an unremarkable, but dependable, minivan because it helps transport my family and things. I refuse to allow my car to define me. Actually, I mostly take the bus or walk. (You know? Because I'm concerned about that "environment" thing.)
Can you imagine what would happen if you went for a run with the sole aim of having fun? Or, if you looked closely at what you do, and found the part of your work that actually invigorates you, and concentrated on that instead? Or, if you sold your silly car, gave the proceeds to a local charity, and rode your bike to work instead?
The measure of a person is not in the badges they wear.
God knows how much time sharpening
and honing my abolities to obfusticate
any issue no matter what it may be.
My specialties include putting stuff off
and not listening to my own good
instincts llong enough that I no
longer trusted myself.
Result: I observed more of my
life than I participated in.
"It is something that can't be found by seeking. But only a seeker can find it." or something like that was the saying.
Getting to Einstein though:
Einstein couldn't read until he was 7, was kicked out of school and didn't get accepted into Zurich Polytech School.
Michael Jordan failed to make the varsity team his softmore year.
Ford went bankrupt 5 times before he finally succeeded.
Edison was partially deaf and failed over a 1000 times before he finally invented a light bulb.
I’m sure glad they didn’t listen to your advice that it “might be the universe telling them that they weren’t meant to do it”
Do you think they were having fun while failing, of course not, but they persevered. You see the danger in your “just do what you like and have fun” philosophy is that as soon as you hit the first obstacle and it’s not fun anymore, you quit. Yes, running one or two miles might be fun, but training for a marathon is definitely hard work and although it can be fun at times, a lot of it is pushing yourself beyond a comfortable threshold, which usually is pretty painful, but that’s how you make yourself “grow”
Personally, I think that’s exactly what separates achievers from “non-achievers” – determination and will power to push through the painful period. You don’t have to set out to achieve something, but you definitely will NOT achieve anything if you give up every time things get a little tough and you have to put in some hard work and bother with tedious stuff.
Don’t know if you read Gladwell’s Outliers, but he talks that it takes about 10,000 hours to master something. Interestingly, if you spend your entire life giving up as soon as things get tough, after a few years of practicing this “skill”, you become a master at quitting, which is a pretty sure way to end up a disillusioned, depressed and overweight middle-aged guy.
And yes, there are areas where you really need a God given talent to succeed. Singing is a perfect example; however, I do think that we as a society over-emphasize “talent” and definitely under value pure determination and hard work.
A lot of times what we call talent is somebody just working really hard at developing the skill, bothering with tedious stuff and just making it look effortless to the rest of us who never see the countless hours of hard work that went into the developing that skill. So the rest of us who are too lazy to do the same call it talent and/or luck, so we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves.
You are dismissing people who disagree with your philosophy of "just have fun, do what you like and don't bother with tedious stuff" b/c you don't understand how someone can desire to do something when it's not fun anymore.
As such, you're more than welcome to do stuff you don't like.
In no way am I alluding to bunk like "fate" or "destiny" seriously, nor do I believe that things should necessarily come easily or without work. (For the record, my “universe trying to tell...” reference is more a figure of speech than something to be read literally.)
I'm a pragmatist and my argument reflects this.
There are a few different ways to motivate people. One is with a carrot, and if the carrot is suitably great, they might act. In most cases, though, they won’t.
Let's say exercise. If a person knew that their life depended on it, would they do it? You're probably thinking, "of course," but the data would prove you wrong. If you want to know why, you can read part of the argument here: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/94/open_change-or-die.html
So, if the threat of one's own mortality isn't enough to change their behaviour, what is? My belief is that it's in embracing something one finds some kind of joy in.
An example:
I always liked playing with words, and because I did, I found myself doing more of it. As I got more practice, my writing improved, and this brought greater rewards. I don't write because of these rewards; I write because I find the act pleasurable.
I've met many people who’ve told me that they, "had a book in them," and that writing one would really move their careers ahead. (A rather notable "carrot.") To date, not one of them has actually acted on this impulse.
When I sat down to write a book, I just wanted to see if I could do it. My toe was broken, and I couldn't move very well for a couple of days. (Wimpy, I know.) Anyway, I started putting down words. The research was interesting, and I found the structuring of arguments to be enjoyable. Eight months later, I had written a book. (That some people even like.)
Was it my destiny to write a book? Of course not. Was it easy? Fuck, no. There were a number of tough stretches, and editing is a real drag. But—and this is a big "but"—the process was interesting/pleasurable enough to overwhelm the crappy parts.
The reason diets don't work? Very few people actually have the fortitude to do something they dislike for a prolonged length of time.
Now, can you imagine what would happen for these folks, if they changed their approach from one of restraint to one of fun?
What if, instead of trying to limit their diet to things they didn’t like, they acknowledged food as a true source of joy, and pursued this pleasure? They might take cooking lessons, and learn an appreciation for the act of preparing food. They might discover foods that are delicious and healthy. After a while, they might even find themselves skipping the fast food line, understanding that calling that grey goop "food" is a travesty of the highest order.
But, that probably won't happen because we—particularly North Americans—look upon joy as something indulgent and frivolous. So, instead, most will continue to punish themselves with things they hate, until they finally quit, and are left feeling guilty, weak, and small.
you keep misunderstanding/misconstruing what I say, not sure if you you do it by accident or on purpose.
I am not for doing what you hate or don't like, and definitely not punishing yourself with things you hate. But your article and several of your comments clearly stated that unless you have fun or joy you shouldn't be doing a particular activity - that is a very dangerous advice and I don't think you even follow it, your book example clearly demonstrates that.
As a side note:
Diets do work, crappy diets don't work b/c people seek a quick fix and go to the extreme. There are plenty of people that observe certain diets very successfully, I stay away from salt, sugar, beer, sodas, fast food and certain other foods by choice - that's a "diet" that I have been observing for many years.
Exercise and diets do work, just don't use the one from the cover of this month's Cosmo, and don't expect results in 5 days.
I'm not claiming to know much, and I'm sure the majority of people on this forum are more intelligent than myself in one way or another. But how do you know someones true intent based off action, or appearance? I was always taught that everyone is equal in one form or another and everyone has equal potential. I do agree that experience, whether in this life or the last has on effect on his/her actions. But I do no discredit or "rate" an individual soley of "short-term" actions, or those perceived over the internet (especially).
I do give credit to those individuals who push through obstacles and never give up. Rockefeller says (not claiming to like, but he makes a good point) that "persistence overcomes anything, even nature." So whether its a young girl overcoming how to style her hair and the many bout's she will face, or the thug who has to push through diversity while consistently making poor immoral choices, or the punk rocker who struggles to find himself so he pushes to express himself through his image or attitude. I could go on an on. In my book all of these things are of equal value as long as one doesn't give up and keep open minded. And most people (when seeing clearly) should be attracted to each one equally. ( I could be wrong on all these points, I'm open for debate. )
-J. P. Morgan & ...To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men -- that is genius.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson ( I apologize for the poor grammar. Could I hire one of you to teach me the basics. My course on Styles from Strunk & White only got me thus far. )
I understand this position as the attitude is common in the United States Army. My advice is to pick a new profession.
If however, you focus instead on what you enjoy doing, what seems like hard work to others or obstacles in the way to others, you won't mind at all because you get enjoyment out of the challenge and see it as an opportunity to expand your talent versus seeing another obstacle in the way of achieving whatever end you seek. The purpose of the exercise is the journey not the destination.
Taking the example from above from someone talking about the car they own etc. while I honestly in no way mean to insult or take away from what they have achieved (I'm just trying to explain my point) a lot of people have porches, thousands of people all around the world. Maybe not as a % of the world population but still, there are a lot of people who own them. Einstein however was one of a kind, obviously. What sets Einstein apart from all the others who worked very hard and did very well in that area was that he honestly loved what he did. In fact if you think about all of the most successful people in the world, they all had a passion for what they did and didn't just do it as a means to an end. They were good at it and more importantly they enjoyed it. While perseverance and hard work will get you relatively further than most people, it is that combined with having a passion for what you do that will get you to that top spot. (Not to mention you'll enjoy the ride)
In my opinion in no way is this article trying to say that mediocrity is what you should aim for, but rather in aiming for something by doing things that you don't particularly enjoy, that is what you will achieve. How well would Martin Luther King got on doing what Einstein did or visa versa. Well enough probably (average, or the good side of average) because they were hard working but neither would have had nearly the same results. Or if Gandhi and Edison had switched places. People, and I mean every person has one talent and love which if they can find it, they can use to achieve things they probably would never have dreamed of. Instead however people aim for things that society holds in high esteem and so they achieve mediocrity. They blend into the crowd because many others like them do the same thing in hopes of doing or being something different. If one was to instead forget about all of that and just focus on what they enjoyed doing, they could rise above everyone.
But most importantly if you search for what you are particularly good at or enjoy the most in an effort to rise above others instead of doing it for your own pleasure, you will most likely not achieve the best results possible. If you're in business purely to do better than your rivals, what seems like a set back will result in stress and most likely efforts to reverse what ever has just occurred. Whereas if you were in it from a learning and enjoyment point of view, you might look more closely at a setback and see an opportunity that might otherwise have been missed.
In a nutshell, life is meant to be enjoyed and by competing with others to achieve things we don't really care about except for the 'status' it gives us, we are forgoing the opportunities to rise to our highest possible 'status' while enjoying the ride along the way.
I'd like to offer an analogy with Vincent Van Gogh. He started his career late. His early efforts were clumsy. He lacked natural talent. His apprenticeship was long, difficult and fraught with frustration. But his goal was to be as great as those painters he "greatly loved and admired" (I quote from one of his letters). During one of those struggles with brush and linen, if you had suggested to him that perhaps the universe was trying to tell him something (ie. painting wasn't his thing) or that he should just take a joyful pleasure in moving paint around and "let the other stuff take care of itself" He would have laughed in your face. Basically you'd be telling him to stop thinking. If he had stopped fretting about his work or his place in art, you would never had heard of him.
Professional artists learn very quickly that trying to make art well (as opposed to dabbling or Sunday painting) is often tedious, frustrating, tiring, depressing. I often dread that trip upstairs to my painting studio. I'd much rather play with my kids or eat Doritos. Why do we bother? Because we want to leave the world a better place than we found it. If this is "greed", then I celebrate that greed. (I can't prove it, but I suspect all good writers/architects/artists etc. would characterise their work as slow and difficult. If we want yoga, we'll do yoga)
Thank you Vincent, for your relentless self-improvement.
I think you misunderstood me. While writing was probably the most important, fascinating thing in the world for Shakespeare, the actual daily task of writing (ideas, structure, endless rewrites, writer's block, frustration, self-doubt) was no doubt a bit of a slog. I think it is for anyone who is striving to be the best they can be.
"To each their own?" A bit glib, don't you think?
And on and on.
I'm not sure I have a passion. I have things I do naturally, but I'm a person who is interested in everything. I'll probably never master any one thing, and the frustration I feel is simply due to not accepting myself.
What I take away from this article is that you should be careful with your intention. If the ONLY reason you are doing something is for other people to pat you on the back and give you a gold star, then it might not really work out that well. Just relying on accolades probably isn't enough motivation.
However, in order to find what you love there are going to be tedious moments and of course everyone needs to pay the bills. My passion is to look at videos of cute kittens on youtube, unfortunately no one is going to pay me for that.
Yes, winning races - whether metaphoric or actual - is pleasant. And bearing the prizes that come with those races is also pleasant. And people who want to run races should absolutely run races. But judging people who don't want to run races is, well, just judgement.
And what purpose does judgement serve but to separate / divide and cause suffering?
Too often we rush to judgement when we ourselves are uncertain of our actual reality; the quiet reality of who we are beneath all the races won and the prizes held high. The reality of who we are before all that happened and after all that happens. The reality from which so many of us often find ourselves racing from when the race to the goal is actually a race from the source - with a shiny trophy to prove the point that it was about the goal after all; it must be, because it was so hard to run.
Regardless of how hard we run; regardless of how many Porches we park in our 10-car garage, the truth of our personality; the truth of who we really are is always with us and it will be the last thing we know before we pass from life into the Great Beyond.
Your words were an interesting twist on an ancient idea; and I love seeing how strongly it moved people to response.
For myself, I've never once responded in two decades I've been on the internet to a blog entry before.
However, I feel I have to say a few words about doing what you love and letting love take care of the rest.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of the book on the state of flow, writes that in order to feel involed in a task and to have the feeling of bliss (not just thinking of crossing the finish line) you need just three things:
1) skills to do the job,
2) concentration,
3) feedback to know you are going in the right direction.
The bottom line is: you can love what you do but love is not equal to skills. This is especially true for creative fields. You may love paintings, but without purely technical skills you will never be able to make one of own. Love can be your rescue raft when things do not go well, but one should not count on it as an engine to move forward.
Next, I would like to share a revelation. In The Little Prince book the Fox says to the Prince, "It's because you have given your rose so much of your time that it means a lot to you." Love may not come automatically. But after having spent some conciderable time engaging in an activity you like, you may get a feeling that you have built a deeper and stronger connection with that activity. And here's when you start to care.
To cut a long story short, I suggest one should follow that what makes him at least curious. Curiosity will help get the necessary skills, and the skills will bring results. And when one looks at their results, they are happy. Happiness will help love grow.
I subscribe to the idea that love is neither found not forced to come. It's cultivated, conscioulsy or not.
Thank you!
E.g. someone could be awesome at something they love, but they're in a small town in the back-end of somewhere, with no knowledge of how to get themselves and the thing they're passionate about into the world. They perhaps lack the desire to achieve something with the thing they're awesome at and are happy to just pld along. Someone else is just as awesome at the same thing and love it just as much, but happen to live across the road from someone who can get them noticed... erm Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, for example. But, if Steve Job lived in a different town to Steve Wozniak, would he still have become the man he became? I dunno... Steve Jobs clearly had the passion and desire to get himself out there, but would he have acheived as much without happening to live across the road from Steve W? Please feel free to rip my comment to shreds...
On another note, reading the comments, I can see why so many bloggers have simply turned their comments off. When you aregue with someone on the internet, you've already lost.
In life we bump up against walls, they're our limits, but you describe them as a message from the universe telling us that we should give up. The people who push those walls further and further out are the ones who change our world. Sure, it's totally fine to be the guy/girl who lives their nice simple little life with a family and a dog and a house, but if everyone listened to that voice in their head saying "you can't do this" then the world would be a much worse place.
What I will say though is that most people WON'T push themselves outside their comfort zone, and probably tell themselves that it's okay to not to do something extraordinary, and whether that's true or not is irrelevant, what matters is that this provides an opportunity for people like me who WILL do the things that we don't like to do, and we reap the benefits. So you can all keep telling yourself this, I hope you do, it makes things much easier.
ps I like what you've done with your comments form ;-)
But in fact you are right in the most opinions you explained and in my own principle I was believe that change is coming from inside and the person is the one who should start realizing that he must change himself to be better and more successful.
Thank you for the good post :)
Thank you for the interesting post.
Shiny new cars and $1,000 jeans just means you're missing what truly matters.
After reading some of these comments, I really hope some of you wake the hell up.
I love what I do *and * do what I love, but I have a shiny new car. Does that mean I'm "missing what truly matters"?
If by "shiny" you mean it costs something crazy like $75, 000+ and a more practical car wouldn't have made you "happy", then yes, you're are indeed missing what's important.
If it's just "shiny" because it's clean, then no problem :)
Who are you living your life for? Are you doing things you loathe so you can impress people who don't give a shit anyway?
Why do you do, what you do. Are you seeking approval? What if you don't receive approval? Are you now depressed? Oh, so you are letting other people control you and your emotions, how nice.
Welcome to the rat race. Have fun, and by-the-way, your car is last years model. Check out this new shiny version.
Live life for yourself. It's not about being lazy. It a rejection of outside control of your life.
Your happiness and self worth don't depend on me. My happiness and self worth don't depend on you.
I don't care if you like my car or not. I don't care if like my ideas or not. I'm passionate about things you would find foolish and will not make me a dime of money.
You should wake up. You won't, and I don't really care either.
It's all about value systems. Genius aren't born. They have high aptitudes mixed with obsessions. Somehow for them, all the pain outweighs the successes, in areas to us which may seem like a total waste of time.
We only hear about the successes, never the failures.
The only thing people would truly LOVE to be doing is eating and fucking.
But how do you find that? The runner wasn't born running. The writer wasn't born writing. They had to get there somehow. Even if it was love-at-first-sight, how many things did the runner have to try before he tried running?
Are you suggesting that people simply try everything under the sun until you find something you love? One could spend a lifetime simply trying things -- and never find it.
The best example I have is of my guitar. I like guitars; in part for the objects themselves, additionally, as I wish I could make music. Nevertheless, when I got one, I find myself putting it down, so I could instead go draw, write, or work on something entrepreneurial.
Eventually, I learned that it probably made more sense to do something in the art/words/business arena, than worry about playing guitar.
Admittedly, this won't work for absolutely everyone. Finding what you like isn't easy, but being honest with yourself does seem to help.
The problem is that people get too attached to whatever life story it is that they have made up for themselves and when reality shows them otherwise they refuse to accept the new script.
Thanks for this! Btw, I have an email coming to you, I've just been buried in my inbox with little to not Internet...
it was a real revelation for me that all the years i "struggled" to "achieve" something work related and personal growth-wise that i was actually going completely against the flow of "my" life, but it appeared to be such the "acceptable" and right thing to be doing in order "to do something with your life".
i would like to add one thing that i hope might help some other readers. for me i never knew what i loved to do when people said - "just do what you love to do". that was so upsetting for me like how i can i not know what i love to do??? is there nothing that i love to do??? "there must be something wrong with me".
i recently found out what i love to do and quite by accident. i decided one day to throw out some old junk tucked away in a closet of mine, and take the time to update photos of loved ones around my home that were totally outdated by years and years. many people call it "clutter clearing", but wow, i never expected that so many wonderful ideas would flood my mind about opening a new business centered around feng shui - which up until that point had only been a "hobby" of mine and nothing that i EVER considered i could make a living at. i believe the reason why i could never figure out what to do when people would say "do what you love" is because i always equated "doing what you love" having to "make money".
i am so grateful that at 46 i was able to find what i know i was meant to do. once i started down that path everything happened "efforlessly", and although i am working very hard i can say that the majority of the time it really doesn't feel like it. there is hope!!!
The "making money" aspect was the thing that masked this realisation. The times I have been happiest working was when I was volunteering. It didn't matter what the volunteer work was so long as I was doing it out of generosity and of my own free will. The payoff was gratitude and the wonderful feeling of having been helpful.
Oddly enough, like Kathy my latest volunteer venture also involves clutter. Now I help people everyday to declutter their homes via my blog www.365lessthings.com. I also encourage people to be environmentally friendly.
I love what I do and I do what I love. And I am eternally grateful to my husband who is the bread winner of the family who makes it possible for me to do what I do.
1. Daily exercise. I REALLY didn't like it, quite a lot of times. By now, I rather like it, not precisely love it, but accept it as rather useful. Without it, I'd be in agonizing pain, probably in a wheelchair by now, so yes, it's something I should do. A few motivational tricks have helped me a lot along the way here.
2. Writing. It can take decades of struggle, where it's intensely unsatisfying and doesn't work out at all, but then suddenly, along comes a good idea, and it's completely effortless and extremely great. But during those hard years, believe me it has little to do with love. It's probably mostly just stubbornness and sheer desperation that keeps one going. But you NEED to put in all that hard work and effort, there just is no other way to reach a state of mastery.
I think it is often about finding something to love in what you loathe but know you should still keep doing. It worked for me with my diet, it worked with physical exercise to some degree, and it doesn't work at all in other areas.
So far, it's still poking around in the dark until I hit something useful. So the OTHER big question is, can the search for something positive be systematized, even in the face of strong negative emotions attached to the activity in question?